Something Important
by Questfan
Summary: Adam is forced to consider what is important to him, especially when he may have lost someone that is very important to him. A Bonanza prequel story, set just after Adam returns home from college.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't have time to be writing anything lengthy, but writing is still my best idea of relaxation and de-stressing. This should be three or four chapters, I think. So here goes and I hope you enjoy.**

 **Something Important**

"You'll keep … for another day."

Adam stood his ground as the man brushed past him and swung himself up into the saddle. His father stood too far away to hear the spiteful words that were hissed at him. Part of him wanted to step back towards the safety of his father's presence while a larger part of him simply wanted to hold his ground. He would not allow the man to rattle him any further. At least he would not allow him the satisfaction of seeing it. The truth was, the man's final whispered threat had his gut churning and threatening to erupt through his mouth. Something about the venom in his eyes told Adam that it wasn't really over between them. He clamped his jaw shut and watched as the man ambled his way off the Ponderosa. He didn't even have the sense to hurry and Adam felt a grudging sense of admiration at the man's sheer audacity. As he stared after the dust trail, he felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder and he turned to see his father eyeing him. He blew out a short breath before turning towards the warmth of the open doorway.

"Let's eat, Pa. I'm starving!"

Ben nodded as he watched his eldest son plaster on a face that he knew did not echo his insides. His own stomach twisted as he felt the rider's presence withdraw from his land. It was as if a dark cloud was drifting away and he hoped whatever wind was behind it would keep it moving away from them. He noted several hands had come out onto the porch to watch as Harrison had been given his marching orders. None of them seemed bothered to see the back of the man and Ben gave a curt nod as they passed by. A few dipped heads was all he received in return, but he noted the way the men watched Adam as they walked past. If he could have named what he saw, it might have been pride.

* * *

Adam lay flat on his back with his hands clasped behind his head. It would be a long time before he found the solace of sleep as his mind kept going over and over the man's words that had been meant for his ears only.

" _When you least expect it, young'un, I'll be back and I'll be takin' somethin' from you. Somethin' important!"_

Adam twisted his fingers together as he considered the words. He wondered if he should tell his father, but the moment had already passed and the man was gone. He was a loner who had turned up a couple of months back, asking for work, but there was something about the man that had grated on the eldest Cartwright son. Try as he might, he could not explain what it was to anybody else and he had eventually stopped trying. It wasn't like Harrison ever did anything overt and could be caught out. That was the problem and Adam had begun to wonder if he was simply imagining it after all. He may be the owner's son, but he still had to earn the respect of their men. Being back from college for only a short time meant that many of them still needed to get the measure of him. Only a couple of them knew him from before he left and the rest had all heard about the boss's pride in his son's academic achievements. None of that mattered much to men of the land and Harrison had taken every opportunity to show up how dumb a book-learnin' fella could be. Little things had added up over time and he had become increasingly agitated by the man who seemed to slither past like a snake, silently and unnoticed for the most part. Just like a snake, Adam knew he had a poison within him. He just couldn't prove it. He had kept his suspicions to himself and tried to find a way to deal with it.

Until Joe messed up that plan.

His brother had a knack for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. He had to wonder if he wasn't secretly glad that Joe had opened his mouth and told their father of his suspicions. He had apparently overhead a conversation that was meant for Adam's ears only and when he confronted his older brother about it, he'd been shocked when Adam told him to butt out and mind his own business.

But Joe, being Joe, he couldn't do that. His senses pricked up whenever Adam was around their newest recruit and he didn't like what he saw. His brother was fiercely independent and for as long as Joe could remember, he'd hero-worshipped his oldest brother. Adam was invincible in his eyes. Oh sure, he could be a royal pain when he chose to be and his taste in reading material was a little dubious, but Joe had never seen his brother afraid of anything. He faced challenges square on with his head as well as his heart. Unlike Joe, who usually just charged madly at life with his emotions on display for the whole world to see. His head often got left behind somewhere and it was often Adam's job to hand it back to him while picking up the pieces.

Until he went away to college.

Everything had changed in that time and Adam found himself struggling to catch up. Somehow, he had been shocked when he came home and found his brothers didn't need him anymore. Hoss had grown into the image of his uncle and stomped around the ranch in boots that seemed made for a giant. Or a Viking. Adam chuckled to himself as he recalled Gunnar telling him about the meaning of the name, Hoss and just how well it applied now to his brother.

In spite of the obvious changes in Hoss, it was Joe who bothered him most. The child he had left behind had grown into a gangly almost-adolescent. He was still far too scrawny, but his limbs now finally gave him the ability to chase the things he had always hankered after. From the moment he could walk, Joe had followed his nose. Whatever caught his attention, he grasped for. It was a trait that had brought the youngest Cartwright to grief on many occasions and Adam smiled as he considered the countless bruises, cuts and stitches that his brother had endured over the years. Not to mention the broken bones. Joe had no concept of fear and he would climb higher and stretch farther than his body could safely manage. He wore his injuries as some kind of badge of honour, almost like the growth markers that his mother notched into the pantry doorframe. Marie had once openly despaired of her adventurous son surviving into adulthood. Adam found his breath caught in his throat as that random thought ran through his mind and he shifted on the bed. He had assured Marie that he would always protect his little brother, even if it meant protecting him from himself!

Somehow he found himself at a loss as to how he could fulfill that promise, made so long ago. Joe had made it abundantly clear that he didn't need or want his big brother hovering over him. In the short time since his return to the Ponderosa, Adam and Joe had butted heads more times than he could count. Ben had stepped in one night when Adam had stormed out of the house and he found himself leaning against the corral, trying to rein in his wayward emotions.

"He's just adjusting, Son. Give him time."

"He hates me, Pa! I lost him somewhere while I was away and he resents me for coming back."

Ben laid a hand across his son's shoulders and shook his head. "No, Adam. He loves you. But he's not the child you left and he doesn't quite know what to make of the man who has come home. Give him time."

Time.

Adam glanced across at the curtains that fluttered in the breeze and sighed heavily. Time was something that was so subjective. His time away in Boston had gone by in a blur and yet it had also dragged interminably. The time away from his family had grated on his soul while the time spent pursuing his dream had felt like the blink of an eye. Suddenly he sat upright on the bed and shook his head. How much longer would that timeframe have seemed to his brother? Joe was never one to be patient and waiting was not his strong suit. The time Adam was gone would have felt like forever to a child who lived in the moment! It was no wonder his father had told him to give Joe time. It was the only answer to rebuilding their relationship. Starting tomorrow. As he finally allowed himself to drift into sleep, a smile ghosted across his lips as he recalled his baby brother saying his name for the first time. In that moment, Adam resolved he would spend the rest of his days if need be, restoring what had been damaged by his long absence. Unfortunately, after dismissing Harrison, his father felt it would be a good idea to get Adam back in the saddle, literally. He found himself sent out on a cattle drive the following day and he knew the much-needed time with Joe would just have to wait until he got back home.

* * *

It had been almost two weeks since Harrison had left the ranch and Joe found himself smiling at the thought. Something about the man had caused his skin to crawl and he could not explain it to anybody. The day he overheard the hired hand threatening Adam rated as another reason to be glad the man was gone. Adam had been livid when he found out that Joe had gone to their father behind his back, but he didn't care. He may not have understood all the meaning behind the words, but he knew a threat when he heard it.

"Joseph Cartwight, are you listening?"

"Huh?"

Joe lurched forward in his seat to find Miss Jenkins glaring in his direction. He felt the flush of heat rising up his face as he noted the rest of the room also staring at him. A few giggles were stifled behind hands and Joe squirmed in his seat.

"Joseph, I know the view outside is far more enticing than your primer, but I would very much appreciate if you would pay attention while you are in my classroom." The slight softening of her tone did not erase the stern face that watched him and Joe felt himself shrinking further into his seat. He had been staring out the window, but not at the view. His mind was back in that barn when he had been crouched down in a stall, searching for a lost bridle buckle in the straw and Harrison had no idea he was there. The tone of the man's voice still made a shiver run up his spine.

" _When you least expect it, young'un, I'll be back and I'll be takin' somethin' from you. Somethin' important!"_

"Joseph? I'm waiting for an answer."

Joe forced himself back to the present and gulped. "Yes Ma'am. I'm sorry."

The afternoon dragged on as Joe stared at the window. For some reason he could not define, he felt anxious to escape the confines of the schoolhouse and talk to his brother. He hadn't had a chance to really speak with him since his brother got back from the drive. He needed to ask Adam what the man had meant. In the aftermath of his revelation of the man's threat against his brother, he'd never actually gotten to clarify what the threat was. He just knew that his invincible older brother was rattled by it. And that shook the foundation of his world. It had caused him to pull back from Adam and his brother was still clearly angry with him. Of course his brother would take off on the cattle muster and avoid him. Of course his brother was angry that Joe had embarrassed him in front of his father. He had no idea how to put things right with Adam; he just knew he had to try.

* * *

Harrison kept himself hidden in the shadow of the building and waited for the school day to draw to a close. He felt the heat of the day sticking his shirt to his back and he wondered why anybody would want to wear black when it held onto the heat. He shuffled the black hat a little lower across his face and kept a wary eye out. It wouldn't do for anybody else to see him and mistake him for Adam Cartwright.

As Joe pushed his pony down the street towards home, he hoped that Adam would be at the house by the time he got there. He had questions that needed answers and his stomach was still churning from the unease he had felt all day. His mind was elsewhere as he rode and he almost rode right past his brother. Until he heard his name being called.

For some reason, Adam was lounging against the wall and beckoning Joe towards him. His hat was pushed low on his face, but Joe would have known his brother's lean anywhere. He had no idea what Adam was doing there, but a lot of things his brother did made no sense to him anymore. He figured that one day when he was old enough, he'd understand the workings of being a grown man. He just hoped he didn't have to go away to college to manage that. Until then, he'd just have to try not to rile Adam any more than he already had. His brother had fairly boiled over when he ran to Pa and told him about Harrison, but Joe knew he'd do the same thing again. As he tethered his pony to a rail, he watched as Adam sauntered down the lane, casting a glance over his shoulder every so often. Joe followed behind him and tried to think what his brother might be up to. As he turned the bend towards the back of the building, he felt a hand clamp over his mouth and something hard connect with the back of his head. His last coherent thought was that Adam must be really mad at him after all.

* * *

Adam stared at the piece of paper in his hand and he felt the world spinning wildly around him. Hoss had collected the mail earlier and unwittingly delivered an envelope marked simply for "Adam". It was sitting on the credenza when he walked in and he had picked it up without much thought. The sounds around him swirled into oblivion as he stared at the scrawl on the page.

 _That important thing of yours is now mine. You tell anyone and he will die. Meet me at the end of Metters Lane at 6 o'clock tonight._

His gut churned as his mind processed the implication of the words. Harrison had not left after all and his threat was apparently being played out as he had promised. Adam's logical, analytical mind refused to link things together until he read the words again. They leaped off the page at him and in that instant he knew exactly what Harrison meant. Joe had inadvertently gotten in the way of his threats and the snake would take pleasure in getting his revenge via the boy. Using something of utmost importance to all of the Cartwrights. Adam spun on his heel and climbed the stairs towards his room before anybody could find him and register anything was wrong. He needed time to consider his options.

Time.

A bitter laugh escaped his clenched teeth as he thought about his father's words. Time was the very thing he had sought from his little brother and now it seemed he may have used it all up.

"Joe." The name was barely a whisper and Adam felt himself sinking onto his bed. "I'll find you, little buddy. I'll find you. Just hold on."

Adam scrunched the offending piece of paper into a ball and shoved it into his pocket as he pushed himself up off the bed. All he needed to do was slip back out of the house and get away before anyone asked any questions. Joe's life depended on it. As he headed down the stairway, he was relieved to see no sign of either his brother or father in the great room and he quickly made his way to the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for your kind reviews and messages. I don't think I'd want to get between Adam and anybody he cared about!**

 **Chapter Two**

The blood pounded in his head and Joe felt his stomach pitch sideways as he tried to sit upright. He sagged back against whatever he was tied to and tried to steady his wayward innards. The musty cloth tied over his eyes itched against his skin and he longed to be able to rub his face. His mind tried to find sense in what his senses could not and he felt his stomach clench again. The last thing he remembered was Adam calling him down a laneway. Fear washed over him as he knew that something must have happened to Adam! Whoever had attacked him must surely have overpowered his brother first, otherwise there was simply no way he would have been left trussed up as he was. He sucked in a sharp breath and found his eyes watering as he considered the idea. There was no indication that Adam was anywhere nearby. He refused to believe that his indestructible brother could have come to any real harm and he forced back the tears. Instead, he listened for a few moments and thought that wherever he was, he was alone. Suddenly a sound off to his left proved that theory wrong and he tensed, feeling both hopeful and alarmed in the same breath. Somebody was walking towards him and he could hear the crunch of boots on loose gravel. The footsteps stopped directly in front of him.

"Adam?" The whisper escaped before he could stop it and the harsh laugh that carried back to him squashed any glimmer of hope that Joe had felt. Whoever was there was definitely not his brother.

"Betcha was hopin' for that, but Adam's otherwise occupied."

Joe pushed himself back towards the tree he was bound to as the voice registered in his mind. Harrison!

"Where's my brother?" Joe forced the question out in spite of the fear that coursed through him. If Harrison was responsible for tying him to a tree, what had the man done to Adam first?

Harrison laughed again and Joe felt the man crouch down and lean in close to his face. The sour smell of whiskey wafted across and he had to force himself not to gag.

"I'd guess your brother is ridin' hell for leather towards Virginia City right about now." Joe tensed as fear grasped hold of his thoughts once again. Adam wasn't nearby after all. And wasn't he in Virginia City to start with? "Guess I should be gettin' on my way too. Your brother an' me, we've got a little discussion needs to be had."

* * *

Ben paced across the room and tried again to calm his racing thoughts. Joe had not returned from school that afternoon and that alone wasn't yet cause for alarm. At first he had assumed his youngest had fallen prey to the enticements of a good fishing hole on a hot day and would soon saunter through the door, proudly bearing a batch of trout and wondering why anybody was concerned about him. As if somehow they should have known where he would be and be impressed by his fishing prowess. It wouldn't be the first time his son had unwittingly given him reason to worry and he knew it wouldn't be the last.

Instead, he now feared that something far more serious was going on. It seemed that two of his sons were not where they were expected to be. Roy moved closer to his friend as he paced while Hoss looked on helplessly.

"Pa?"

Both men turned towards the lad, having almost forgotten he was there. Hoss twisted his hand across the brim of his hat and tried to quash the nagging voice in his ear. He needed Pa to tell him that he was imagining things and he could tell the voice to pipe down.

"Yes, Hoss." Ben stepped towards his son, reading the emotions that rode so easily over his face. His middle son had no guile in him and he had never been able to hide his heart from any of them, especially when he was troubled.

"Pa, maybe there was somethin' in that note that came for Adam."

Ben frowned at his son. "What note?"

Hoss scratched at the back of his head; his discomfort clearly showing. It was almost as if he had a hand in losing track of his two brothers.

"Son? What note?"

"Well, in the mail I got in town today … … there was this letter for Adam. I dunno what it said … … but I found the envelope it came in. When I … … when I went up to Adam's room lookin' for him, just now." He reached into his pocket and slowly withdrew the offending item. He hadn't been snooping. He was just looking for his brothers and found the paper on the floor of Adam's room. It wasn't like his meticulous brother to leave his room out of order in any way and the envelope caught his attention as soon as he walked into the room.

Roy was already standing by his father when Hoss looked up and he felt both sets of eyes on him. Once again, he couldn't shake the feeling he had somehow contributed to whatever it was that was going on. After all, he'd delivered the mail.

"Show it to me, Hoss." Ben reached out a hand towards his son. As he turned the envelope over in his hands, he noted the single word written on the front. It was a rough scrawl and he instinctively knew it was not a letter from a female. Adam received notes from time to time from young ladies in town and none of them looked like this. They came in delicately coloured stationery, sometimes with a hint of perfume and penned in gently flowing calligraphy. This one was clearly not any such note. It also had come from a local, as there was no address or return address. Ben handed it across to Roy and shook his head in annoyance.

"Any idea what was in it, son?" Roy watched as Hoss shook his head emphatically. He knew that Ben would have taught his boys to respect the privacy of others and unless Adam had revealed the contents to his brother, Hoss would not have looked for himself.

"Roy, I'm heading into town. We need to start looking somewhere and we should start where you found Joe's horse."

"I'll saddle the horses, Pa!" Hoss rushed towards the door, eager to be doing something at last.

"Hoss, wait." Ben strode towards his son and instantly recognised the defiance rising across the boy's face. He was expecting to be told to stay behind. "I need you to do something for me. Ride out to Mitch's and ask him when he saw Joe last. Find out if he left for home after school or planned to go somewhere else. If anyone will know, Mitch will. Then meet us in town at the Sheriff's office."

He clamped a hand on his son's shoulder as he nodded and hastily retreated for the door.

"Yes, Pa!"

"Ben, we'll find 'em. Both of 'em." Roy pursed his lips as he considered the agitated father standing before him. Neither of them mentioned the small hat that lay on the nearby credenza. Roy had found it lying in the dust in an alley, after seeing Joe's horse tethered to a railing where it shouldn't have been. When enquiries gave him no indication of where its owner may be, he had headed for the Ponderosa, hoping to find the youngster in one piece and with some fantastic story to regale him with. Instead he'd found that nobody had any idea where either Joe or Adam were and his sense of unease had crept up several notches.

* * *

Adam paced the alleyway, knowing that he was early. He felt his senses amp up to high alert as he watched for any sign of the man he despised. There were several places where he was vulnerable and he had intentionally placed himself out of any direct line of sight. He felt completely exposed and totally alone and yet he couldn't help worrying what Joe was feeling. Was he also alone and fearful? Did he know what was happening to him? Was he even … As Adam's thoughts took on a life of their own, he had to force himself to relax and stop pacing. Instead, he dropped down onto one of the wooden crates stacked against the wall and waited. Darkness was closing in as the sun began to sink and he wondered if Harrison intended to show at all. Suddenly he heard the distinct click of a revolver and he pushed himself to his feet. On instinct, his hand was already over his holster when he heard Harrison's chilling laugh.

"Just give me a reason to unload this into ya, boy!"

Adam shifted his hand a little and drew himself up to his full height. The man standing across from him could have been his mirror, right down to the detail on his black hat. His eyes narrowed in suspicion and it didn't take long for him to get the answer to his unspoken questions.

Harrison looked down at himself and smirked. "Made it a whole lot easier to draw in that stupid brother of yours. 'e thought I was you! Imagine 'is surprise when 'is lovin' brother cracked 'im over the 'ead and tied 'im up."

The sickening laugh that spilled out of his mouth made Adam's blood boil. He started forward at the man's words, only to be pulled up short by a Colt pointed squarely at his chest.

"Now, now. I ain't done talkin' to ya yet. I told ya once that I'd come back and take somethin' you valued."

"All right, Harrison. You've made your point. Joe's just a kid. Your gripe is with me so why not be a man and take on me instead?"

Harrison rubbed a hand across his face as he smirked again. "Well that kid's got a big mouth! Whatever comes 'is way, is 'is own fault. Ya shoulda taught 'im to keep 'is nose outta other people's business!"

"Where is my brother?" The words were calm and low and Adam surprised himself at how level his voice sounded. The blood was pounding in his ears and he almost found himself holding his breath, waiting for Harrison to answer.

Instead the man began to back away from him, still holding the Colt aimed right where it would do the most damage. "Not so fast there, Cartwright. You lot are used to giving the orders, but not this time!"

"Then why summons me here?" Adam held his hands out as if flailing for an answer.

"To bait ya! To see ya squirm! To let ya know I'm in charge this time. You ain't got ya daddy to back ya up this time. And that little wildcat brother of yours, ain't feelin' so wild no more."

Adam felt his throat go dry at the implication in the man's word. "If you hurt one hair on his head, so help me, I'll … "

Harrison laughed at the look on Adam's face. "You'll what? Run for ya daddy? Slap my wrist? Ya ain't in charge this time, Cartwright. Look around ya. There's nobody here to do ya biddin'. And just so ya know … … ya little brother's hair ain't so pretty no more."

The man was almost at the end of the alley when several patrons of the Silver Dollar came wandering around the corner, looking for a place to relieve themselves. Adam would be hard-pressed to explain later to Roy Coffee what had happened, given how quickly it transpired. All he knew was that he couldn't let the man turn and leave until he told him where Joe was. Harrison turned at the sound and Adam lunged for him. In the scuffle, Harrison's gun fired and before he knew it, Adam was pressing a wad of torn shirt into the man's chest in a desperate attempt to stem the bloodloss.

As the life drained from his eyes, Harrison took his parting shot. "The kid's all alone. 'e's gonna die all alone, knowin' his brother deserted 'im. You left 'im to die. _You_ caused this Cartwright. _You_ killed your brother!"

Adam grasped helplessly at the man's shirt as he found himself pleading. "Where is he? Please! Just tell me where he is!"

Hands pulled him back and Adam fought violently against them. He yanked at Harrison's arm and shook him angrily. "Where is he?"

"He's dead, Son."

The words registered in his ear, but he shoved them aside. His brother was not dead. Joe was too full of beans to be dead. He couldn't be dead!

"No! He's not!"

"Adam, he's gone. Let him be." The calm voice of his father echoed in his ears and Adam finally turned to see him clasping his shoulder. It wasn't Joe he was talking about, but the man whose blood was smeared all across his hands and shirt.

"But he knows where Little Joe is. He didn't tell me yet. He can't be dead, Pa. He needs to tell me where he took Joe!"

Ben grasped at his son's shoulders and tried to force him to make eye contact. The sound of his voice was rising in pitch and he could hear the almost hysterical edge to it. He had missed Harrison's earlier words and although he was concerned, he did not yet understand the full weight of Adam's demand.

"He can't tell us anything more. Now, think, son, where could Harrison have taken Joe? How long has he had him? Joe didn't have his horse, but Harrison could have taken him on his own horse." Ben forced himself to think logically before the rising sense of panic could take over. His missing son could not afford for him to panic. "What timeframe are we looking at because that will determine how far they could have traveled and therefore, our search parameters."

Adam heard the rumble of his father's voice, but the questions sounded like buzzing bees in his ears. His mind would not latch onto them and give them any substance. Instead he stared at the blood soaked shirt of the man lying on the ground before him. Hatred rose up in his throat and he tasted the sour taste of bile in his mouth. If the man wasn't already dead, he would have choked him with his bare hands, right there in the dirt. The man had dared to lay hands on his brother, but right now Joe needed him to pull himself together. He slowly turned to see his father's expectant face and he began to try to draw together some answers with what little information he had.

Roy had been busy issuing orders to men who had come running at the sound of the gunshot and the three drunk patrons of the saloon slouched off to one side. They had sobered quickly when it became apparent they were lucky to be alive after walking into the wrong alley at the wrong time. He sought answers that didn't really give him much more than what he'd already surmised, but he was relieved to know that Adam had not been holding the gun and his own gun was still holstered. It seemed that Harrison had gotten himself killed by his own gun. While that piece of news brought a measure of relief, what he could hear Adam saying did not. Joe was still missing and they were still none the wiser as to where he might be.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Joe felt the dull thump in the back of his head and he wondered again what had hit him. He couldn't be sure, but his scalp felt as though dried blood was matted into his hair. There was definitely a lump under the curls as he could feel that when he leaned back against it. He longed to be able to reach up with his hands and inspect it for himself, but they were still firmly bound behind him. His shoulders ached with the unnatural position and he shifted his weight to try to ease the muscles. Scratching sounds off to his right were making him jumpy and he tried to stop fidgeting and listen. At first he thought it was Harrison returning, but it soon became apparent it was just some critter looking for its supper. He would have smiled under other circumstances, but another thought reared up in his mind. What if a bigger critter came looking for its supper and he was sitting there, all trussed up like a Christmas turkey? He knew he'd look mighty tasty to a hungry mountain lion. The fear behind that thought had him squirming again and once again, he tried rubbing at the rope that bound his wrists. It was thick and heavy and he knew he'd already rubbed the skin raw in several spots. Fresh blood dribbled down his fingers as he once again worked the rope against the bark of the tree. If the sharp edges that dug into his skin were anything to go by, he told himself that he should have the rope shredded in no time.

No time.

His mind wandered back to a conversation he'd heard his Pa having with Adam. He knew he shouldn't be listening in, but he couldn't help it. It was a night where something had erupted yet again between him and his hard-headed brother and he'd been so angry that he's stormed off to his room to calm down. The room was hot and stuffy and he'd shoved the window open, just in time to see his brother stomp out to the yard below. His anger flowed hot and red and he'd wanted to shout one last insult at Adam, but just then, his father had walked out into the yard too. Uncertain about whether or not he was due a tanning for his earlier outburst, he wisely decided to stay quiet. He watched as his father walked over to where Adam was almost hanging over the corral rail. More emotion boiled up as he watched his father drape a hand over his brother's shoulder. Why did Adam deserve his father's attention? After all, he was the one who caused all the trouble! Their words drifted up to him on the stillness of a hot summer evening.

" _He's just adjusting, Son. Give him time."_

" _He hates me, Pa! I lost him somewhere while I was away and he resents me for coming back."_

" _No, Adam. He loves you. But he's not the child you left and he doesn't quite know what to make of the man who has come home. Give him time."_

Joe swallowed hard as he thought again about that night.

 _He hates me._

When Adam had voiced that doubt to their father, he'd vehemently agreed. Right at that moment, he hated his brother and he would have shouted it from the window if his father had not been in earshot. He most definitely hated his smug and overbearing brother who seemed to find fault with everything he did. Didn't he?

 _No, Adam. He loves you._

His father's voice echoed around the space surrounding him and he nodded slowly. As much as he may have said otherwise that night, it was true. He loved his brother with all that he had in him. So what had possessed him to tell Adam that he hated him? On more than one occasion. What was it about his older brother that provoked such anger and vitriol?

 _Give him time._

Joe had no idea why his father would say such a thing, because that night he was sure that no amount of time would make him like his brother again, let alone love him. His much-loved brother had gone away to college and somebody else had come back in his place. As he glared at his brother from his window, he felt the sour taste of bitterness eating away at his insides.

Time.

What time was it anyway? The blindfold that kept him bound in uncertainty did nothing to tell him what time it was. He had no idea how long he'd been out to it when Harrison had hit him over the head, but he knew it must be getting on to dark. Pa would be worried about him and they'd come looking for him. Wouldn't they?

The heat of the day was beginning to diminish a little and Joe wondered again where that critter had gotten to. It was far too quiet and his ears strained to give him a clue of where he was. There were no sounds as there would be if he was anywhere near Virginia City. No carriages or horses or people. No smells of smoke. Nothing. Fear crawled up into his chest again as he wondered where Harrison would have hidden him and when he intended to come back. Part of him didn't want to ever see the man again and yet another part feared being left alone wherever he was.

As he strained to listen there was no sound except for the distant screech of an eagle. He wondered if there was any way he could attract attention and before he stopped to think about it, he began shouting. The desperate pleas for help grew in volume as he heard his own voice echoing back at him. He was clearly somewhere rocky as he remembered Adam explaining to him once about how rocks bounced the sound around like marbles and made it come back again. The sudden memory choked his next scream in his throat and nothing but a raw sob came out.

"Adam… … where are you?"

Once again, fear clawed its way into his chest and he knew that Harrison would hurt his brother, given the chance. But Adam was riding to Virginia City. Harrison had said so. Tears dribbled down his cheeks as Joe tried to fight off the panic that rose up from his stomach. Harrison knew where Adam was going and he was going there too. Unless of course, Harrison had lied to him and he'd done something to his brother already. As Joe considered the dull throbbing that was increasing in the back of his head, he wondered if Harrison hadn't done something worse to Adam. Was his brother's body lying nearby and Harrison had simply abandoned them both to the wild animals? Fear began to hammer into his chest again and he found himself struggling to breathe.

"Adam, please come back. I'm sorry. I don't hate you. I'm sorry!"

Fresh tears leaked out from under the dirty bandana and he wished he could reach his face to scrub them away. His brother would be ashamed of how weak he was if he could see his tears. At that moment, he'd give anything for his brother to be there, whether or not he was ashamed. He'd take an Adam tongue-lashing any day if it meant his brother was still alive.

* * *

Adam stared into the black depths of the cup of coffee in his hand. He'd heard it said that some people tried to read the future in coffee dregs. His practical mind had scoffed at that idea, but in that moment he saw nothing but blackness in the bitter liquid. He knew that nothing about his future would ever be right again if he could not find his brother. It was his fault. Harrison had clearly threatened to do what he had done and he'd been too stupid or too proud to tell his father. He squeezed his eyes closed as he considered what might have been if he'd simply warned them. Joe would be safe and Harrison wouldn't be laid out in the undertaker's office across the road.

Ben looked across at his eldest son and saw the recrimination drawn clearly across his face. Dried blood spattered across his face and arms and despite his best efforts, Adam had so far declined to wash it off. When Roy pressed a cup of coffee into his hands, Adam hadn't said a word. He simply stared at the blood on his hands, deep in thought. Before either of them could prod him any further, Hoss rushed through the doorway. He sought out his father immediately, but pulled up short as he saw his older brother covered in blood.

"Adam!"

The fear in his voice had Ben rushing to reassure his son and he grasped at Hoss's shoulder.

"He's fine. It's not his blood."

Adam looked up at his younger brother and tried to give him a similar assurance. The words stuck in his throat as he stood to his feet and Hoss pushed towards him anyway.

"Joe?"

Adam shook his head and momentarily closed his eyes, as if he could blot out the fear he read in his brother's eyes. Hoss misread the response to mean the blood was his younger brother's and his knees almost buckled beneath him. Adam's ashen face told him all that he needed to know. Ben barely reached him in time to stop him stumbling into Adam and he quickly turned Hoss to face him. The look of horror on his son's face took a moment to register and before he could speak, Roy had stepped in.

"We still haven't found him, son. What did young Mitch have to say when you saw him?"

Hoss stared at his father's face, daring to hope for confirmation of the sheriff's words and suddenly Ben realised what his son had assumed. He grasped him by the shoulders and nodded.

"Did Mitch know anything? Has he seen Joe since school let out?"

Hoss swallowed a gulp of air and shook his head. The answer lodged somewhere in his throat as he tried to force down the panicked lump of fear that had threatened to choke him.

"No, he ain't seen him since the school day ended. Said Joe was in a right hurry to get home though. He said he needed to speak to Adam and ask him somethin' important."

Adam flinched at the choice of words and Hoss looked across to see what was wrong.

"Did Joe see you, Adam?"

"No, Hoss. I haven't … … I haven't seen him since breakfast." The look that crossed his older brother's face brought a fresh wave of anxiety and Hoss turned to his father once again.

"Pa? Ain't nobody seen Little Joe since the end of school?"

"It seems not. We do have an idea why though."

Hoss wasn't so sure he wanted to hear the idea, given the distraught look on Adam's face.

"Have you seen Harrison around at all since he was fired from the Ponderosa?"

Hoss glanced across at Adam once again before returning his gaze to his father. He hadn't heard any of Harrison's threats, but his brothers' word was good enough for him and he was happy when his father had gotten rid of the man.

"Nope. I thought he was gonna leave town. Not like any other rancher around here'd take him on after you told him to leave, Pa."

Ben nodded slowly. "We thought so too. Apparently he came back, or never really left. He came back to get back at Adam and we think he took Joe."

Hoss's eyes widened at the revelation and he moved a step closer to the door. "Well, what kinda ransom money does he want? Let's go get it and get Joe back!"

Adam stepped forward and reached for his brother's arm. "It's not that simple. I killed Harrison and we don't … … we don't know where he took Joe."

Hoss stared at him as Adam scrubbed a hand over his eyes, as if trying to erase the guilt there. The remains of dried blood on his hands told Hoss more than he wanted to know and he frowned in anger.

"You mean he tried ta kill you first, don'tcha Adam?"

"Something like that. The more important thing is that we don't know where Joe is and we need to figure it out fast. Harrison said he was all alone. That Joe would … … we just need to find him!"

Ben was beside him before he realised and Adam found himself unconsciously leaning into his father's hand. He needed something to keep him upright as he fought down the panic that threatened to spill over. He would not burden Hoss with Harrison's last words, but he keenly felt the urgency to find his little brother before it was too late. He was under no illusions that Harrison would have done Joe any favours.

Adam seemed to draw strength from his father's presence beside him and he slowly pulled himself up to his full height as he began to pace across the floor. Ben recognised it as his son's way of working through a problem, when his mind still didn't have all the answers.

"Joe was still at school until after three o'clock. I met Harrison just after six. That gives him a maximum of maybe an hour's travel either way."

Ben nodded at him, as if he could silently encourage the train of thought.

"He must have been on foot or traveling with Joe on his horse, since Joe's horse was still tied up."

As he was speaking, Roy had pulled out a crude map of the immediate area. His hands began to trace over the lines as he mentally calculated the speed of a horse with two riders. Even if Harrison had used a second, unknown horse, there was still only a certain range he could have traveled. For the first time since finding Adam in the alleyway, Ben began to see determination surfacing in his son's features. He leaned over the map and began pointing out possible areas to begin searching. It was far too much ground to cover with just the four of them and he glanced up at his father.

"We need help here. An organised search plan."

"You just keep working on that plan and I'll find the men to cover it." Roy was already moving towards the door when Ben leaned over to Hoss.

"Son, I need you to ride to the Ponderosa and get the hands back here. We'll also need … … "

Adam heard his father's voice fading out as he turned back to staring at the map. He knew he was missing something.

Something important!


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you so much for your thoughts and comments. This chapter is a little more introspective and Joe isn't very happy with me.**

 **Chapter Four**

The ground beneath his horse's hooves felt like it stretched on forever. As he glanced up into the night sky and barely noticed the endless stars overhead, Adam suddenly felt so very small. The hours of fruitless searching were grating on him and the faint glow of sunrise on the horizon only made him feel worse. What kind of brother was he to leave Joe out all alone overnight? It wasn't that Joe was scared of the dark. Of all of them, Joe was the one who craved other people around him. He had never known the loneliness of the trail. Or the emptiness of a room on the far side of the country. He had lived his whole life surrounded by people. His personality ensured that he was never short of a friend to find trouble with. Adam almost smiled as he thought of all the times his father had despaired of Joe's inability to go quietly at anything he did. He barreled, full-speed ahead, no matter what he was doing. It was often for the benefit of an audience and Joe reveled in making others laugh.

Adam found his thoughts turning maudlin as he wondered if he would ever hear his brother's infectious laugh again. If he would ever hear Hop Sing yell something in Chinese as Joe and company charged through his kitchen, swiping food on the way past. If they would have a happy ending with the dawning of the new day or not.

"Say, Adam, I reckon it's time we headed back and checked on the others. See if they've found anything."

Adam shifted slightly in the saddle and tried to ignore the comment behind him. The hands had been divided into search teams and Carl had elected to ride alongside Adam. Ben nodded in agreement as he knew the experienced, older man had Adam's respect and he would not hesitate to rein in the boss's son if he felt the need to.

"Adam? You hear me?"

He knew he'd been heard, but he also knew the firm set of Adam's shoulders meant he wasn't planning to agree too quickly. If it had been his kid brother they were searching for, he reckoned he'd be just the same. Still, the boss had given instructions for them to get back to the ranch and regroup by dawn. As it was, they were going to be very late.

"Adam?"

Without a word, he watched as Adam finally wrenched his horse around and reluctantly turned towards home. He could feel the heaviness in the air and chose to keep his thoughts to himself for the remainder of their ride. After all, they all liked the kid they were out searching for and nobody was under any illusions about what Harrison was capable of.

* * *

The coolness of the night gradually gave way to the heat of day as the sun climbed higher. Of course Joe had no idea where the sun was positioned, but he certainly knew it was getting hotter. The rocks he was hidden amongst radiated heat back at him from every direction in the same way his screams for help bounced back at him. His throat felt raw and he licked desperately at lips that were beginning to feel dry and brittle. Every so often he began to drag the rope that bound his wrists back and forth against the bark, but he was beginning to feel it was a hopeless task. The more he tried, the more his skin bled and the rope didn't seem to give an inch for all his efforts.

He had been relieved when Harrison first left, but now he found himself wishing the man would return and at least give him some hope he hadn't been abandoned after all. It made no sense. In the dime novels he'd read where the pretty young girl was kidnapped for ransom, the kidnapper had always made sure to keep their hostage alive, even if they were a bit roughed up. As his mind began to wander in the heat of the afternoon, he wondered why Harrison didn't seem too concerned about keeping him alive. Suddenly an alarming idea ran through his thoughts and he almost passed out when he threw his head back in fear. The lump on the back of his head still felt tender and raw and he gagged against the nausea that rose from the pit of his stomach. What if Harrison didn't need to keep him alive because he'd intercepted whoever came with the ransom money? Who would Pa send on such an errand? He knew, without a shadow of a doubt that his father would not entrust such a thing to anybody else and for a few minutes he almost choked on the image of his father lying dead by the roadside. Harrison would have liked that!

Joe felt his chest beginning to heave with overwhelming fear and he struggled to make it stop. As he pulled against the ropes, he felt his skin chafing underneath it, but his mind seemed not to care. Terrifying thoughts rode up in his mind and he found himself falling backwards into darkness once again.

* * *

Ben paced across the room, trying not to allow his agitation to awaken his middle son. Hoss had dropped onto the couch when he followed his father through the door and before Hop Sing could get food anywhere near him, he'd fallen asleep. Eventually Ben decided he couldn't stand it any longer and headed towards the door. He hadn't bothered to remove his coat or hat or even his gunbelt and he didn't even pause as he quietly stepped out into the early morning sun. It was well over an hour past sunrise and he knew that Adam would have stretched their allotted time as long as he could. Horses stood around the yard, tied to whatever rail was convenient and he felt a sense of gratitude at how many had turned out to help look for his son. Many more were searching the farther side of Virginia City and yet others had ridden the road towards Carson City. Roy had returned from the saloon as promised with many men who were willing to help. Ben knew there were times he was resented, but he also knew he was respected and nobody could ignore a missing child.

A child.

" _He's not the child you left and he doesn't quite know what to make of the man who has come home. Give him time."_

He leaned heavily against the railing of the corral as he considered that night once again. He'd seen his eldest son return from college and been proud of the man he'd become. While he understood Joe's reticence around his older brother, he didn't like it and he prayed it would pass quickly.

" _Give him time."_

He leaned into the railing and pressed his head against his forearm. The idea that his son had run out of time barreled into him and he almost gasped out loud at the force of it. Before he could pull himself together, he heard horses approaching and looked up to see Adam and Carl riding into the yard. Adam slid down from the saddle, fatigue etched across his face. No words needed to be exchanged and Ben nodded towards the door as he began to cross the yard.

"Hop Sing has hot coffee and breakfast waiting. It's time to get some rest before we start again."

Both men followed him across the open space without speaking. The hands that had ridden in earlier had all eaten and been sent off to catch up on some sleep. As much as he wanted to be back in the saddle searching, Ben knew that without rest they would get sloppy and possibly miss something. He heard Hop Sing clattering plates of hot food onto the table and he debated waking Hoss. Before he could decide what to do, the decision was made for him as Hoss pulled himself up off the pillow and sniffed the air. He would have laughed under other circumstances as his still-growing son could devour twice what many men ate at one sitting and his love of food was a constant source of teasing amongst his brothers. He climbed up off the couch and followed the rest of them to the table. It was a sombre meal with the barest of conversation as each of them tried to avoid looking at the empty chair that should have been filled by an energetic ten year old.

Adam sat staring at his empty coffee cup, as if somehow it held secrets he wished to know. When Ben leaned forwards to refill it, Adam startled at the movement.

"Sorry, Pa. My mind was off somewhere else."

With the barest hint of a smile, Ben refilled the cup and set the pot back on the table. He knew exactly where his son's thoughts were.

"You boys need to get some sleep and we'll head out again soon."

"Pa, we need to …"

Ben raised a hand to cut off the objection. "You are no use to Joe if you fall out of your saddle. A couple of hours is all I'm asking. Then we'll start again."

Adam stared at his father, every fibre of him wanting to scream his objection and yet he knew he was right. At that moment, he could barely focus on the table in front of him, let alone picking up a trail or looking for clues to his brother's whereabouts. His brain needed to sleep.

"Two hours."

"Yes, Son. Two hours."

Hoss crawled back toward the couch and dropped himself down onto it with a heavy sigh. He didn't want to be sleeping either, but he could barely keep his eyes open.

Adam thought they would be the longest two hours of his life. He dragged himself upstairs and collapsed onto his bed. Within minutes his exhausted body fell into an agitated sleep, full of images that would haunt him for a long time to come.

* * *

The sun seemed to have settled directly above his head and Joe felt himself once again drooping against the tree. He had given another halfhearted attempt at the ropes, but his arms just wouldn't move any more than an inch or so. His chin dropped onto his chest and he tried to focus on the sounds around him. A faint noise on the far side of his feet made his skin prickle. It seemed that without the benefit of his eyes to tell him anything, his ears had increased in sensitivity. Either that or his tired mind was playing games on him. The barest hint of gravel moving could have just been the wind, but he felt no movement of wind across his face. It took another minute for him to realise the sound was possibly a lizard or snake making its way across the hot gravel. His senses went into high alert at the idea that a snake was within striking distance and he almost pulled his legs up. It was probably his body's depleted reserves that held him still, but whatever the cause, Joe found himself frozen to the spot. He strained to catch any sound of movement and was just beginning to think he might have imagined it when a high-pitched squeak echoed off the rocks as gravel shifted suddenly. He'd spent his whole life on a ranch and was completely familiar with the patterns of life and death in the natural world. While he didn't wish the mouse any harm, he felt a surge of relief that the snake had found another victim besides his exposed legs. Darkness seemed to settle back over him as he wondered how long it took a snake to consume a mouse.

* * *

Carl's horse picked it's way up the steep slope and he gripped tightly to the saddle horn. Adam was a good twenty feet in front of him and he knew he was soon going to have to pull rank. The young man ahead of him was driven by a force that he could not override and the boss had told him to keep an eye on him. With good reason, it seemed. The light was fading and they would need to make camp soon before it was too dark to see and the horses stumbled in the darkness. Losing their footing would be disastrous and slow down their efforts. Unlike the night before, when search teams had ridden out, they had expected to find Joe and bring him home by the morning. When that didn't eventuate and they set out again to search further, they had taken supplies with them so they didn't need to return to the ranch.

"Adam, it's time we stopped before we lose the light altogether."

Time.

Why did that word keep coming back to bite him? There was no telling how much time Joe had before there was none left. Adam shook his head, as if to push away that thought and Carl frowned at his back. Stubborn kid!

"Adam! These horses can't keep climbing in the dark. We need to stop."

By the time they settled into their bedrolls, Adam could not stop his mind from wandering back over familiar territory. Throughout the long trek, he seemed to have pulled up every single incident from recent months where he and Joe had butted heads. He was glad that Carl had turned over to try to sleep as he could barely contain the emotion that threatened to choke him. Joe was the most infuriating person he knew. He was also the funniest. His endless practical jokes on his good-natured older brother were all recorded in the letters he had received at college. Of course, Hoss's letters had differed a little from Joe's version and he had spent many nights re-reading those letters and chuckling as he went to sleep. The initial overwhelming homesickness had barely been held at bay and those letters had been treasured weapons to keep him focused on why he was there in the first place. If only his return had been seen the same way. Joe told him he missed him in those letters. So how did it go so terribly awry when he came back and they were together under the same roof again?

Adam laced his fingers under the back of his head and stared at the stars overhead. Nothing up there gave him any answers and he finally closed his eyes. All day he had been trying to grasp at something that seemed to hide just out of reach, tormenting him until he felt he'd go mad. He knew there had to be a clue in his interactions with Harrison and his tired mind struggled to find it. The man had never intended to dump Joe somewhere and not return, so Adam figured he had to have a plan of some sort. His thoughts swirled into the ugly images he had dreamed only hours before and he tried to switch it off. As exhaustion claimed him once again, he thought he heard his brother calling his name. It would be hours later when he jolted out of the darkest dream and found himself screaming his brother's name.

As Carl grabbed at his arm to shake him awake, Adam stared wildly at the man in front of him. "I know where he is!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you as always for your feedback. Sorry Kim that I can't reply in person, but I appreciate the comment.**

 **Chapter Five**

Carl shifted closer to the young man in front of him and tried to grasp at his flailing arm. Before he could get a grip, Adam had clambered to his feet and was moving towards his horse. Carl was still trying to get his wits about him, having been awoken from a deep sleep and he slowly stumbled after him.

"Adam, whaddaya think you're doing? You can't ride in the dark down this mountain!"

The faintest glow of the fire's embers gave them a little light and the moon added an eerie sheen, but it wasn't nearly enough to see by to ride safely. Adam ignored the man behind him and lifted his horse's blanket, about to throw it over the animal's back. He felt a hand grab hold of his arm and he swung around, ready to throw a punch. Carl raised his other hand in defense, but did not release his grip.

"Now, Adam, you need to stop and think this through. You can't ride in the dark! You ain't helping Joe by breaking your neck."

Adam knew the reason behind the words, but his heart was still pounding wildly in his chest. He feared what Harrison would have done and there was no time to lose.

" _It's some kinda crazy how many holes there are up in those canyons. Plenty of places to bury bodies ya don't want nobody to find!"_

Adam saw the glint of insanity in the man's eyes as he laughed at his own words. It may have sounded to others as though he was joking, but Adam had seen the way Harrison looked in his direction and smirked as he mentioned bodies. It was just another moment where he'd seen through the facade the man raised for others and lowered just to torment him.

"Adam? You hear me?" Carl still held tightly to Adam's sleeve, hoping to get him to see sense. Something had shifted in his demeanor and he wasn't sure what it was.

"Yeah … I hear you." As he moved to drop the blanket back where it was earlier, Adam stared up into the night sky, trying to gauge how far away the dawn was.

Carl pulled his hand back and nodded in relief that he wasn't going to have to do anything more drastic. He followed Adam's gaze and pointed towards the campfire. "We've still got a while before dawn. Hows about I make us some coffee and beans while we wait and you'll be ready to ride by the time the sun is up? While I do that, you can fill me in on where we're riding to."

Adam wandered towards the fire as he watched Carl stir the embers into life with new wood. "You'll be riding to the Ponderosa and rounding up Pa and the others." He slid down onto a log and scrubbed a hand through his hair.

"And where will you be riding to?"

"Gawler's Canyon."

"What?"

Adam stared into the flames as he knew the memory that had finally surfaced in his dream was his answer. He just prayed they hadn't wasted too much time looking elsewhere.

"Something Harrison said a while back. Said it was the ideal place to bury bodies."

Carl shifted the coffee pot further into the flames and reached across for their mugs. Part of him hoped that Adam was right and they finally knew where to look. Another part of him hoped the lad was wrong because Gawler's Canyon was a vast network of crevasses that made crossing it by horseback impossible. The only way to search it was on foot and covering it properly would take days.

By the time he found himself riding down the mountain trail in the early morning light and turning towards the ranch, he could only pray that it would not take days. Joe most certainly did not have days if the heat of the previous day was anything to go by.

* * *

The sun had climbed over the rocks many hours ago, but he was no longer aware of its path. The darkness of the blindfold meant he was no longer aware of much of anything. As Joe tried to focus, his mind kept wandering and trying to draw him back into darkness. He pushed against it with what little energy he had left and it threatened to overwhelm him. Within the darkness he saw fleeting images of his brother, laid out dead on the gravel. Bullet holes had seeped a river of blood, but now they were just dried to a dull brown and Adam's blood had long since flowed into the ground beneath him. Time lost all meaning as he stared at his brother's lifeless face. He would never get to tell Adam how sorry he was. A vicious laugh echoed in his thoughts and he flinched at the memory that came with it. Harrison was once again there to taunt him as he sobbed silently. There was no moisture left in him to form actual tears and nobody left to care. The darkness tugged at his mind and he found himself slipping further and further into it. Finally he gave up fighting it and stretched out on the ground beside Adam. His father had wanted to give them time to resolve things and now it seemed they had all the time in eternity. In the distance he heard the sound of screaming and he wondered who it was. Perhaps it was his father mourning Adam.

* * *

Adam pushed himself off yet another rock and scanned the immediate vicinity. He had long since abandoned his horse, knowing it could not continue to traverse the rocky terrain. Gawler's Canyon was a death trap for horses and he would not risk it. Instead he scrambled from one rock formation to the next, praying that the next sinkhole would be the one that gave up his brother's whereabouts. He was certain that he was searching in the right area, but he was equally certain that the crevasses and overhangs would not give up their secrets without a fight. Every so often he stopped on top of an outcrop and shouted for Joe. He didn't really expect an answer, but hope is a hard thing to squelch and he still had just enough of it to force him onward. The heat of the day was drawing every drop of moisture from his skin and he found himself wishing he had another canteen. As it was, he'd have to ration the one he carried if he wanted to make it down again.

The stillness of the afternoon grated on his thoughts and he found himself staring around helplessly, looking for something that would tell him where to go next. At that moment he heard the harsh screech of a bird as it circled high overhead. Something in the sound made him pay attention and he watched as it drifted away to the south.

* * *

Ben pushed his horse along the narrow trail as fast as he dared. It was little more than a goat track and he prayed that his horse would hold its footing. Somewhere behind him he could hear the sound of horses following and he knew that soon enough they were going to have to dismount and leave the horses behind. He felt sweat trickling down the back of his shirt as he rode, but he daren't try and get a drink from the canteen on the trail. He would not stop for a drink until they had no option left, but to stop and start walking.

Hoss kept an eye on where his horse was stepping, but he trusted the animal to find its own way. He spent more time watching his father's back as they climbed higher and he saw the tension in his father's shoulders. Ever since Carl had found them and told them of Adam's theory, his father had been stretched taut. He'd never seen Gawler's Canyon for himself, but he'd heard tales of it. Most of them had been meant to cause fear in small children and he knew he was being irrational. It was said that many men had climbed into those rocks and never come out again. Almost as if the earth had swallowed them whole. Of course, he knew that couldn't happen, but his whole body ached with fatigue and his mind had wandered as they rode to catch up to Adam. By the time they came upon Adam's horse grazing on the meagre grass available amongst the rocks, he knew that the tales weren't all made up. He could see for himself that Adam had indeed taken off into a catacomb of rock and dust. He just prayed that it hadn't swallowed his brothers like Johnny Taylor had said happened to an old drifter that disappeared a couple of years back.

Ben was too busy sorting canteens and ropes to pay any mind to his son's hesitant approach to the rock face. As he hoisted a length of rope across his shoulder they all heard the crack of three shots carry through the air. He leaned against his horse, knowing what the old signal told him. Adam had found Joe at last. What it didn't tell him was whether or not his youngest son was still alive and he found his heart pounding wildly.

"That way! It came from over there."

Carl pointed to the south of their position and Ben turned to see where he was looking. He lifted his hands to cup against his mouth and shouted for all he was worth.

"Adam!"

The group stood still and waited expectantly, but nothing came back to them but oppressive silence. Ben tried once more, knowing they were quite likely out of earshot. When it was apparent they weren't going to get a response, he raised his pistol and fired an answering volley of three shots into the air. He nodded towards the rock face and began moving.

"Let's go and bring them back."

His words sounded far more confident than he felt.

* * *

Adam couldn't believe what he was seeing. A crumpled heap of clothing seemed to have deflated into a pile on the ground. Underneath it all, he couldn't tell if his little brother was even breathing. He paused, not wanting to confirm his worst fears by moving closer. Instead, he looked up to see the hawk still circling overhead. As it screeched, it reminded him of a buzzard and he stumbled forward, anxious to chase it away from its prey. His brother was not anybody's prey!

As he leaned forward and tugged at Joe's face, he almost choked on a sob when he felt a faint breath against his hand. He forced down the bile that rose up from his gut as he took in his brother's state. He had to force himself to go slowly as he slid a knife against the rope that bound his wrists and he growled under his breath when he saw the bruised and swollen flesh, carrying dried streaks of blood. It was clear Joe had tried to work away at the rope, but it was far too strong and barely even chafed.

Joe didn't respond to anything as Adam shifted him into his lap and cradled him up against his chest. His lips were cracked and burned from the sun and Adam found tears streaked down his face as he reached for his canteen. Joe's cheeks were always browned from an outdoors life, but they were reddened and blistered with tiny spots. As Adam lifted the canteen to his lips and dribbled water into his mouth, it dribbled straight back out again and ran down the collar of his shirt.

"Come on, little buddy, just a sip. You need it."

Joe made no sign that he had heard anything and Adam slipped the bandana off from around his neck and poured water onto it. As he dabbed at his brother's face he was hard-pressed to keep his anger from boiling over. What kind of animal left a child in this state? At that moment he knew that it was really his fault that Joe had been left exposed for so long. If he had stayed calmer and not provoked Harrison, the man wouldn't be dead and he would have at least come back for Joe.

"I'm sorry."

The whispered comment brought a fresh wave of anger towards Harrison and Adam found his hand moving involuntarily towards his gun. In that moment he suddenly thought of something else. It had been years since he had last had to fire off a signal and he hoped Carl had brought his father within range already. As he released the clip and slid his pistol free of the holster, his eyes never strayed from his brother's face. Joe hadn't so much as made a sound.

When he raised it and fired three consecutive shots into the air, Joe didn't respond in the slightest. That frightened Adam more than anything else and he dropped the pistol to the ground. Once again he reached for the water and dribbled a few drops into Joe's mouth. He pushed against his chin to close his mouth and force the water down. When that seemed to work, he repeated the process. He prayed he wasn't doing any damage, but to his way of thinking, Joe desperately needed the water and there was no other way.

 _The screaming had faded into the blackness once again, but somebody sure had stoked the fire to a roaring blaze. He felt flames licking at the edges of the blackness and he wondered why he couldn't pull away from it. Something held him tight and he tried to fight free from it. Maybe it was him that was screaming._

Adam eventually slung the canteen over his shoulder and slowly climbed to his feet. He had no way of knowing how far away any help was and he needed to get Joe home as soon as possible. As he hoisted his brother into his arms and turned for home an old memory slid into place and almost caused him to stumble on the rocks. Joe had been almost four when he caught the measles. It made him tired and irritable and he would sleep in fits and bursts. With the need to keep him in a darkened room to protect his eyes, he had often awoken feeling disoriented and been distressed. In order to keep him calm and allow him to sleep a little better, Marie often sat and sang to him in the dark. Adam smiled as he recalled the songs she sang in both French and English. He had not been able to fully learn all the French ones before she passed, but he knew little bits and pieces. As he walked towards where he had left his horse, he found himself humming the parts where he could not recall the words and singing softly when the words fell into place.

 _The voice wrapped around him and carried him somewhere, although he had no idea where that was. The words sounded strange and yet familiar at the same time. The flames had not subsided, but somehow he felt less panicked about them. The voice would stop the flames. He just needed to hold onto the voice._


	6. Chapter 6

**Well this got a little longer than I expected, but that seems to happen whenever I start writing something new. Thank you to the lovely readers and reviewers. I hope you enjoyed the ride through uncharted territory for me.**

 **Chapter Six**

 _Sounds mingled in the darkness and his mind had long since given up trying to chase them. The flames licked at his face and he tried desperately to turn from them. Something held him fast and he wanted to shout. To cry out for somebody to come, but his mind couldn't find the name he wanted. Somewhere in the depths of the darkness he knew the truth. If he called the name, his brother wouldn't come. He was already dead. Harrison had already killed Adam and left him lying in the dirt somewhere._

Ben traced a finger down his son's cheek and waited for a response. For a moment he had thought that Joe was coming to, but once again he was sorely disappointed. It had been at least twenty minutes since they had caught up to Adam and his heart was still pounding. When he first caught sight of Adam stumbling up a rocky incline with his youngest brother's body in his arms, Ben had thought his heart may stop in his chest. There was no sign that Joe was still alive and he could not recall seeing his son so still and lifeless before. Even when he was sick, Little Joe was somehow still in motion.

"Come on, Son. Just a little more." He wrapped his thumb and finger across the bottom of Joe's jaw as Hoss slowly dribbled water from the canteen. It was what Adam had been doing repeatedly and he'd said it was the only way to get water into Joe and keep it there. Ben knew only too well the dangers of dehydration and for somebody of such small stature it was an even greater danger. He could feel the heat radiating off Joe's skin and was alarmed at the lack of sweat. It meant he was dangerously close to the edge and Ben prayed he wasn't about to fall right over it.

Eventually Ben lifted his son into his arms and moved off once again towards where they had left the horses. Adam was barely a hand's width from his father's side and he kept a close eye on Joe's face. His gut was churning with fear as Joe had not uttered a sound or shown a hint of life since he'd found him. If it were not for the raspy intake of breath, he would have thought that Joe was already gone.

He had no idea of the passage of time as they finally reached the horses. Hoss and Carl rounded up the various ones that had wandered in search of grass and Adam helped his father get Joe onto his horse before climbing up behind him. The other three hands that had been with them to search the canyon had already been sent on ahead to fetch Doc Martin and alert the sheriff to call off the search. Ben took the reins and wrapped an arm around his son's chest. As Joe dropped back against him, Ben found himself praying under his breath. He was terrified his son was not going to make it back to the ranch in time to need Paul's help.

* * *

Paul Martin had spent many hours patching up the youngest of Ben's boys, but never like this. He had smiled when Joe relayed how he just had to find out what the view was like from the top of a tree and he'd slipped on the way down, breaking his arm. He had outright laughed after pulling prickly pear spines from his fingers after Joe's outrageous explanation about chasing a pair of rabbits and not seeing the huge cactus in front of him. He had spooned more than his fair share of medicine into the boy over the years, but none of it compared to what he saw now. The child on the bed was close to death and he wasn't sure of his ability to pull him back. He didn't need the sordid details to see the injuries for himself and he found his jaw clenched in anger. As he wrapped a strip of clean linen around Joe's left wrist, Paul felt himself struggling to control himself. He'd seen all measure of violence play out over the years. It went with the territory of being a frontier doctor. The mangled flesh underneath the bandage bore witness to something entirely different and he could not reconcile how any man could cause such injury to a child. The skin would heal eventually, but he knew the inner scars would take much more time to see them close over. Provided his patient lived long enough for that to happen.

As he stepped out onto the landing to call Joe's family, he wasn't surprised to see them all gathered at the bottom of the stairs.

"Paul?" The expression on Ben's face conveyed the collective concern and the doctor slowly descended the stairs and gratefully accepted the cup of coffee that Hop Sing pressed into his hand. He wasn't surprised to see Roy Coffee seated on the couch and waiting with the family for news. As he dropped onto a chair, he licked at his lip and tried to think where to begin. Encouragement seemed like a good starting point.

"You sure do breed tough boys, Ben. That young fella of yours is made of stern stuff."

It was meant to bring hope, but as Paul glanced across at Adam, all he saw was guilt. He hurried on in the hope of easing that somewhat.

"You'll need to be vigilant about getting more water into him. Just like you've been doing, because it's working. He's running a fever from the sunstroke and the only cure for that is water and time. He's got a nasty gash on the back of his head. I won't know if there's any lasting affect from that until he wakes up and I examine him again. Other than that, his wrists have been dressed and he needs plenty of rest."

It sounded too simple. Water and rest. Adam pushed off from the bannister he'd been leaning against and started up the stairs without saying a word. Paul saw the hunched set of his shoulders and knew the young man well enough to know he was carrying a world of guilt.

"Adam."

He paused on the step and slowly turned back towards the doctor's voice.

"You saved his life, son. He didn't have a whole lot more time left out there."

Adam felt bitter bile rising up from the pit of his stomach and he turned again without speaking. Saved him? He had possibly cost his brother his life!

* * *

Joe lay curled up on his side while the stark white bandage wrapped around his head contrasted cruelly with the redness of his blistered cheek. Adam knelt down beside the bed, afraid to reach out a hand and touch his brother in case he broke. He suddenly seemed so very young and fragile. His fingers lay splayed across the edge of the pillow and Adam stared at the bandage around his wrist. Adam closed his eyes as he recalled the sight of Joe's wrists bound behind a tree and the bruising and damage that had been done to him. He was completely unaware as his father and brother entered the room until Ben laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Paul said we need to get some more water into him. Adam can you give me a hand to get him more upright?" Ben watched as Adam seemed to freeze for a moment before climbing up onto the bed and gently rolling Joe into his arms. As he leaned his brother's head against his chest, Ben dribbled water from a glass. It was a painstakingly slow process, but it was working. Eventually he had drained the glass and he set it back on the dresser. Adam made no move to release his brother and Ben noted that Hoss had wriggled across from the foot of the bed. If his brothers' proximity was any measure of things, Joe was going to be just fine.

It was some hours later that Ben found himself alone in Joe's room, listening to the rasping sound of his youngest breathing. Paul had told him that Joe's throat was scrubbed raw and he had flinched at the implication. His son had screamed for help that never came. He shifted forward and reached once again to stroke his son's face. It was difficult to find a spot that didn't look red and tender and he felt the anger rising again. For the first time in hours, he thought he detected movement and he leaned closer. Even though no sound accompanied it, Joe's lips were definitely moving. His eyes rolled under the puffy eyelids and Ben wondered if he was dreaming.

 _The dust swirled around him, choking out sound and vision as the light withdrew from him. Darkness seemed to be his only companion and he almost smiled because the darkness also swallowed up the nightmare image of his brother's dead body. It wasn't right! Adam was invincible. Unstoppable. As he called his brother's name, silence rolled back at him. He wished he could tell Adam how sorry he was. How much he wanted to make up for all the stupid things he'd said. Only he'd run out of time to do that._

* * *

Adam leaned against the doorframe and watched. His father had finally succumbed to his fatigue and slept fitfully, slumped against the back of the chair. A washcloth and bowl of water sat on the dresser and Adam walked across to retrieve them both. He slipped the bowl down onto the floor beside the bed and gently settled himself on the side of the bed. It was a good sign that Joe had a faint sheen of sweat across his face and Adam used the damp cloth to wipe it away. He eased the edge of the sheet down and began to wash down his brother's torso, hoping he was doing something to bring comfort. Joe shivered under his hand and he watched intently to see if he did anything else. A moment later he could see his brother's lips moving although no sound came out. He leaned closer in case he was missing something and Joe suddenly shifted on the bed. He cried out, a rasping, almost strangled cry that tore at Adam and woke Ben from his sleep.

"Joe? Can you hear me? You're safe, Joe!" As he reached out a hand to steady his brother, Joe bucked under his hand.

"Joseph," Ben always seemed to revert to his son's full name when things were more serious and Adam could hear the fear in his father's voice as he tried to calm his son. He had no idea if Joe could hear either of them, but he continued to strain against them both and Adam was afraid they would hurt him if they tried to hold him down. Joe's eyes rolled open and for a brief moment, Adam thought he had gotten through. The murky haze instead of the usual spark frightened him and he knew that Joe was no more aware of his presence than he had been all day.

Without really stopping to think why, Adam leaned closer and began humming a tune. The words didn't seem to want to come out as his brain strained against fatigue and fear, but the music was still there. Slowly, a few words dropped into place and he repeated the chorus several times. He didn't know if it was the song, or Joe had just run out of fight, but his brother seemed to settle back against the pillow and his facial expression eased into less of a grimace.

 _The voice was back. The one that wrapped itself around him and made him feel safe. If only Adam had been kept safe by the voice. As he drifted back into the dark, he felt his heart breaking all over again._

Ben listened as his eldest son struggled to recall the song that Marie had used on her infant son and he prayed that her presence in the song would be enough to call her son back to them. He watched as Joe seemed to relax and was stunned to see a tear leak out from under his eyelashes. It tracked its way down his blistered cheek and was quickly followed by another. As Adam continued to sing, Ben reacted on memory and reached out to gather his son into his arms. He was so focused that he had no idea Hoss had even entered the room.

 _Adam was dead._

"'m sorry."

Ben had thought Joe was trying to talk before, but now he was certain of it. He leaned his ear closer and tried to hear whatever it was his son was mumbling.

"Joe? Can you hear me, Son?"

"Sorry, Pa."

"Sorry for what, Joe?"

Adam had stopped singing when he realised his brother was finally coming to and he shifted closer.

"Adam." The word was barely a whisper and Ben frowned as more tears trickled down Joe's face.

"Adam is right here, Son."

Joe fidgeted in his father's arms and seemed to be rolling his face into his father's chest. The next words were swallowed up by his shirt. As Ben reached to stroke his son's face, he was surprised by the agony etched across his youngest child's features.

"Joe?"

"Adam's dead."

Adam jolted back at the pain in his brother's whispered response and he wondered if he had heard him correctly. Ben shifted his son up against his shoulder and tapped at his face, trying to bring him fully awake.

"No! Joe, Adam is just fine. He's right here."

 _The cloud of dust threatened to choke the breath out of his lungs. He could feel himself falling back into the darkness and he pushed against it. Hands grabbed at him and he struggled to open his eyes. He didn't want to see anything and wanted to just fall back into oblivion._

"Joe!" Once again, Ben shifted and he was finally rewarded with his son slowly blinking at him. It was as if the light hurt his eyes and he recoiled from it. Adam remembered only too well how Joe had done that when he had the measles. As he tried to focus on his father's face above him, Joe felt the agony washing over him again and he tried to hide once more. Acting more on instinct than anything else, Ben called Adam closer and he nudged Joe to wake him once more.

"Hey, little buddy."

Joe felt the dam breaking inside him as he heard the words he knew he would never hear again. His mind swirled in confusion and he reached out a hand towards his brother's face. As he made contact, he snatched it back again, afraid that he would somehow chase away the mirage.

Adam's eyes shone with tears and now Joe knew he wasn't real. Adam didn't cry!

"Joe." He had no idea why his brother had flinched at the sight of him unless he hated him for what Harrison had done. He couldn't blame him really. Adam pulled back and Joe turned his face into his father's chest once more. Ben was having none of it.

He leaned forward and without asking, deposited his youngest son into the arms of his eldest. As Joe finally registered the black shirt and the smell of his brother's cologne, he could not control the cascade of emotion that rolled out of him. Tears soaked into Adam's shirt as he grasped hold of it. Adam clung to him as if somebody had thrown a lifeline his way. He buried his face into his brother's curls and allowed the tears to fall.

Hoss hovered behind his father, relieved to know that Joe was finally awake, but somehow feeling uncertain of what was going on. Adam was not one to show such unrestrained emotion and it left him feeling unsettled. Ben looked up to see him hopping slowly from one foot to the other and he beckoned him closer. As he came within reach, his father stood up and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Nothing had shifted in his understanding, but the simple gesture was enough to right his world once again.

* * *

The first morning that Joe made it down to breakfast by himself was cause for celebration and Hop Sing almost fell over himself trying to pile the table with food to entice them with. Joe allowed his father to fill his plate with enough food to feed Hoss twice over, but his stomach clenched in a knot. He had no idea how long it had been from when Harrison had duped him in the alleyway to the present moment, but there was still one thing he had not shared with anybody. He could not bear to think about it and he had tried to bury the images without success. Ben knew his son was still healing and he tried to allow Joe to move at whatever pace he was happy with. It was clear he had not yet come to terms with his abduction and he feared he never would. They still weren't sure of all the details of his trial and a part of him hoped that Joe never remembered it.

"Adam?"

All eyes shifted towards him and Joe began to squirm in his seat.

"Yeah." He could see his brother's discomfort and thought he needed to keep things neutral and calm. He forced himself to shove a forkful of eggs into his mouth.

"Out there … I … well ... I had a lotta time to think."

Ben felt like his son had just stuck a knife into his ribs with that one simple sentence. He willed himself to breathe and not react.

"What were you thinking about, Joe?"

"Well," Joe hung his head and tears dripped onto his lap. Before he could speak any further, Adam had swung out of his seat and crouched down in front of him, resting a hand on his knee. He smiled at his little brother, trying to draw out whatever he wanted to say.

"I got to thinking about how many times I told you I hated you. And that I wished you never came back from college." The misery in his voice was apparent to all of them. "All I wanted to do was come back and tell you I don't hate you. I dunno why I ever said that about you 'cos I didn't mean it. I'm sorry, Adam."

He frowned in confusion as once again, Adam had tears streaming down his face. He didn't even hear whatever it was that Adam said in response before he found himself being pulled into the fiercest hug. He wrapped his arms around Adam's neck and held on while his brother seemed intent on squeezing the breath out of him.

 _Time._

 _Give him time._

Pa had been right. Of course, none of them could have foreseen the catalyst for the changes in them both, but Adam knew that he had no question about what was important and what wasn't.


End file.
